Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
