Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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