my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
You ate ashes out of my bong
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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