I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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