I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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