Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize