she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
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