i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
