You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
should my penis look like a turkey
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
