The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
