Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
