I am spending my child support on dildos
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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