Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
