a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
