no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
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