is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I FOUND THE LEGS
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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