You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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