my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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