I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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