I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
