my room smells like sperm. sweet.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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