He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
