I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
