your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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