she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
