Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
