u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize