i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
