And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
