Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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