i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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