Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Swine flu is the new snow day.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
