We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Randomize
