Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
