she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
