i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
