Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
