Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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