i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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