I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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