Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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