Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize