Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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