You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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