found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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