Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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