He uses pillows to masturbate.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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