Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
