Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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