apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I think my nap took me to another dimension
how drunk are you?
Several
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize
