I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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