He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
