Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
