You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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