When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
just tell him i said nine months
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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