I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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