there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
