I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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