Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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